


bad habit, i know

by nelly_lemon



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Depression, Fuch this is so bad, Gay Michael Mell, Gun Violence, Michael Mell Has Two Moms, Michael-centric, Not Canon Compliant, Sad Michael Mell, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Shooting, Shooting Guns, i cant even spell fuck right imagine how long this took me to format, numb, trigger warning, uh im sorry michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelly_lemon/pseuds/nelly_lemon
Summary: based off of the shooting in texas.this has self harm in it, if that triggers you





	bad habit, i know

**Author's Note:**

> ey yo um this has self harm, dont read if this triggers you
> 
> also if you squint its me not michael

"There was a shooting in Texas," his mom said.

"They were aiming for us, Michael. Our people."

His mother had red eyes; fat tears dripping down her face.

Michael remained emotionless. 

He pressed it down into a bottle in the pit of his stomach.

down, down, down.

When he felt it fighting its way up, he only pushed harder.

Down, into his hips, his knees, his toes, until he couldn't feel it and he could forget it was there. Down until it was just a little piece of hot lead, sitting in his chest. 

He went down to his room.

Took careful steps down the stairs.

One, two, three, four. 

He searched for the emotion he had crushed, until-

He couldn't feel anything anymore.

He couldn’t feel anything at all.

Michael already knew the answer to this problem.

His eyes fell on his dresser.

thought of its contents.

He opened it.

Picked up the cold piece of metal inside.

Held his arm away from his eyes and slashed quick. 

Observed the white gashes, slowly filling with blood. 

He felt the lead boiling over, heat searing in his chest. 

Bubbling up.

Out.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments give me life 
> 
> i am very gay so i need life


End file.
